Hi, I (Jon Hart) just wanted to say a little as the husband of a woman who has had a tubal reversal, or as the other half of the "team". As you already know from reading my wife's accounts, she had her tubes tied when our son Jacob was born. I don't remember when exactly she came to me with the idea of having her tubes untied and having more children, but I do know that I was not the warm, understanding person I should have been. I pretty much rejected the idea outright. I didn't even consider the possibility seriously for even a second.
I suppose there were a lot of reasons for it. Money for one, I thought it would cost a fortune. I thought it would cost a lot more than it actually did and I never am convinced that we have enough money to do any thing. My wife, who is an accountant, has found a way around this by keeping me completely in the dark about our financial status. She's better with money than I'll ever be so it's probably for the best.
Another reason is that I was probably reluctant to go through all the worry of having another child. With Jacob I was hopeless. Having spent most of my adult life as a Sergeant in the Army, I am a person who likes to be in a position to be involved, to be able to take charge of things if need be, and with a pregnancy all I could do was watch. For nine months I worried constantly about how the baby was developing, I wanted to know. Of course as soon as my wife got pregnant all that was on TV were shows about dwarfism, co-joined twins, and children with ambiguous gender. I spent many a night staring at the ceiling and obsessing about what was going on in my wife's uterus. Once Jake was born I worried about SIDS. The poor child probably didn't get a decent night's sleep for the first year of his life. I checked on him at least five times a night just to make sure he was breathing. If I wasn't sure I'd poke him till he moved. Five times a night, that's a lot of poking. Once he was officially out of the "danger zone" I let up some. I'm sure he's thankful.
What happened to change my mind? It was more of a process that any one thing. In the fall of 1999 we left the Army and became civilians. Rebecca got a job immediately and I studied at home and was "Mr. Mom". I got an opportunity most men never get, to take care of my kids all day every day for six months. I sure am glad I got the chance to do that since I got to bond with my kids in a way I could never have otherwise. Eventually I got a job and the kids went to day care. Somewhere in there Rebecca approached me again about the idea of having more children. This time I really thought about it.
I thought about how much I enjoyed taking care of Jacob when he was a baby, and how much of his growing that I missed because of military deployments. I thought about the money issue. Having a house would be nice, but if we were going to do it there was no time like the present, the biological clock was ticking. I used to have all the money I could spend and I was lonely and miserable. Now I rarely have any money at all (though I think my wife plans it that way), but I have a wonderful wife and children and life is awesome. The house and all those stupid guy toys I desire could wait. I also could tell that this was something that Rebecca really wanted. I could be selfish and put my foot down and get my way, but at what cost? Years down the road I didn't want to see Rebecca looking at some kids playing and see in her eyes that she was imagining what might have been. I didn't want to know that the only thing that stood between her and her dreams coming true was me and my selfishness. I'm supposed to be the man of her dreams, not the guy who keeps them from happening. So I got used to the idea that there were going to be more Hart children, and we started investigating our options.
I was surprised at the number of people out there who do reversals, both locally (we live in Dallas) and nationally. We weren't impressed with the people in Dallas; they didn't seem very proficient, or very caring for that matter. Looking at the doctors nationally there were only two real candidates. Without getting personal, let me tell you what I considered in the decision we made in having Rebecca's reversal done by Doctor Levin. First off, Dr. Levin has a ton of experience. Experience is good. When you are performing surgery on the light of my life, a ton of experience is better. The fact that Dr. Levin works in a hospital made a lot of difference to me as well. If, God forbid, anything went wrong, I don't want the hospital to be just down the street. I want to be in the hospital with about a million doctors right there, available in seconds. Dr. Levin uses a great big microscope, not funky things stuck on his glasses (especially since he doesn't wear glasses). Call me crazy, but I figured he'd do a better job since he could see everything really up close and personal. To top it all off, Dr. Levin is a really nice guy and a medical professional like you don't see these days. There were cheaper doctors, but I figure you get what you pay for. I looked forever to find my wife, so I'm not going to cut corners or be a penny pincher when it comes to her medical care.
In about a week I'm going to be a dad again, almost exactly a year after Rebecca's plumbing was hooked back up. She will be having a caesarian section and she wants me to take lots of pictures. I am scared shitless. I am also about as happy as one man can be. I can't imagine that once upon a time I didn't want this to happen. I must have been nuts.